transition to commitment.

[Young Buck]

Well, Guys you know when meet a girl who you just know is girlfriend material. Lets just say it starts to work out. How do you get rid of the girls you've been messing around with the pass couple months. I always found that easier said than done. I will exclude riomonger from this cause I know he'll just say keep all the other girls on the side. Its definitely a test, because even if your intentions are commitment, those other chicks you may have messed around with will pop up and be tempting. But that is the test of true love and commitment. Is hugo girlfriend ready? I want this girl alot, and I know she is the girlfriend type and none other. Or put this simply. If I can win the affection if this chick, I wouldnt hesitate to commit to her and go steady. It has been over a year since Ive had a steady gf. I've dated alot and not really commited to any of them. My last steady gf, I did not cheat on so I know its possible. But relationships are stressful? Ive made the mistake before of messing around with other girls while getting to know my future gf. Cause I remember right before my first date with my last serious relationship, I messed around with another chick. Later on the relationship after we had commited, that came to bite me in the ass. Cause the girl I had messed around with was angry that I got a gf(even though she had no interest in commitment) but I guess she was angry that she recieved no attention from me ever. So anyways, girl #1 decides to sabotage our relationship by in a snotty matter saying to everybody in the dorms around us "John's girlfriend is ugly!!! John doesnt even like white girls! Why is John with that bitch?? I just find it weird that he's even with her." The words spread and soon two drama queens were angry at me. So thats why the next time, I think commitment is near, I will halt activity with other chicks.

[RioMonger]

Well, Guys you know when meet a girl who you just know is girlfriend material. Lets just say it starts to work out. How do you get rid of the girls you've been messing around with the pass couple months. I always found that easier said than done. I will exclude riomonger from this cause I know he'll just say keep all the other girls on the side. Its definitely a test, because even if your intentions are commitment, those other chicks you may have messed around with will pop up and be tempting. But that is the test of true love and commitment. Is hugo girlfriend ready? I want this girl alot, and I know she is the girlfriend type and none other. Or put this simply. If I can win the affection if this chick, I wouldnt hesitate to commit to her and go steady. It has been over a year since Ive had a steady gf. I've dated alot and not really commited to any of them. My last steady gf, I did not cheat on so I know its possible. But relationships are stressful? Ive made the mistake before of messing around with other girls while getting to know my future gf. Cause I remember right before my first date with my last serious relationship, I messed around with another chick. Later on the relationship after we had commited, that came to bite me in the ass. Cause the girl I had messed around with was angry that I got a gf(even though she had no interest in commitment) but I guess she was angry that she recieved no attention from me ever. So anyways, girl #1 decides to sabotage our relationship by in a snotty matter saying to everybody in the dorms around us "John's girlfriend is ugly!!! John doesnt even like white girls! Why is John with that bitch?? I just find it weird that he's even with her." The words spread and soon two drama queens were angry at me. So thats why the next time, I think commitment is near, I will halt activity with other chicks.

Are you insane? Dude, don't even say the "C" word Hugo. Your a young man that must enjoy all of the fine fuzzy peaches prior to "C". You need to keep your girlfriends separated from each other. Deny, Deny, Deny! Even if your girlfriend catches you getting a blowjob, you still deny. The art of f*****g many regular women involves deception. Being with the same women for a prolonged period of time is rather boring and dull. Read Jaboo's post on the subject when he was talking about the need for a mistress or a women on the side. I can no longer deceive regular women, so I hang out with whores.

[Young Buck]

Ever heard the song by Shaggy it wasnt me.

[RioMonger]

Ever heard the song by Shaggy it wasnt me.

Yes, aren't you a little too young for that song?

Anyway, dude, last warning. Imagine eating the same p***y for the next 50 years?

[Young Buck]

So! I want a family and kids and I wanna be a good father, I understand the concept of love and commitment. I feel I am about 4-5 years away from meeting the one I will marry and commit to for the rest of my life. Key word is meet, We are not all the same men RioMonger. I dont envy your lifestyle at all. I envy the man with a family and a wife and good relationship with such.

[RioMonger]

So! I want a family and kids and I wanna be a good father, I understand the concept of love and commitment. I feel I am about 4-5 years away from meeting the one I will marry and commit to for the rest of my life. Key word is meet, We are not all the same men RioMonger. I dont envy your lifestyle at all. I envy the man with a family and a wife and good relationship with such.

See, I had a wife and I have a son. You can have your cake and eat it too.

[dorlis972]

I often wonder what is the rush with these young adults jumping into relationships ... a quick look @ the divorce rate should be enough to make anyone think twice, but hey 50/50 ain't that bad if you are optimistic -- glass half full!

However, since you asked, what so hard about telling some chicks 'nah ... I ain't got no time for that, Im with XXX'. I think the problem might be that you're not defining your relationship with these chicks from the beginning.

You should be letting it known that you are just having a good time (aka Dating), and you are into your books and don't have time for a serious relationship. If things progress, you go to that 'Im really feeling you .. how about you?' mode to feel out if things are mutual. And if you decide things are to be exclusive between you two ... then she should understand from that point on you are obligated not to have more than one girl. The past is the past and shouldnt be held against you (unless you slept with her mother, best friend, or a person of the same sex (a + or - depending on the person).

Once you are honest with the ladies, the other chicks in question, if they get an attitude with your desired woman you are covered -- they know the deal and they come off as a jealous chicken head craving some Hugo bone. However since you are on campus, you should know that rumors are bound to start -- lots of young people living in close quarters... so you gotta learn how to really keep things on the down low. That way people don't smell the "proverbial" fart before you lay it.

[Boricua]

[..]



Yes, aren't you a little too young for that song?

Anyway, dude, last warning. Imagine eating the same p***y for the next 50 years?

Mr. Monger I hate to say this but you're really funny/sick person

Ever wonder who will change your shitty diapers when you're old or suck your old wrinkly paw paw when you're old? And please don't say some prostitute.

[RioMonger]

[..]



Mr. Monger I hate to say this but you're really funny/sick person

Ever wonder who will change your shitty diapers when you're old or suck your old wrinkly paw paw when you're old? And please don't say some prostitute.

Well, it will be a retired teacher that graduated from Yale with a carioca that I met on this forum. Neither women are prostitutes.

[marina!]

It's sweet of you to want to settle down with someone, Hugo, but I suggest you wait until you're 30+ and have some more life experiences under your belt and maybe some more $ as well, esp if you're going to be a traditional provider. You'll have a better handle on life, know yourself better, your needs and preferences, know the difference between who's hot and who's right, know when to say "No," etc.

[Boricua]

[..]



Well, it will be a retired teacher that graduated from Yale with a carioca that I met on this forum. Neither women are prostitutes.

If you're implying me- sorry I won't be settling with a Carioca and I don't think so nasty monger.

Anyways

@ Hugo- I think you're intelligent enough to make choices for yourself in matters of the heart. All I can say is listen to all advice with both ears open, take what you want and leave the rest. I for one am still learning about life and being older doesn't give you this carte blanche into relationships- that in my opinion is the biggest mistake of most people, age doesn't equal maturity but being responsible and not impulsive will age you pretty well. So just think things through and take your time, you are young and have it. Like I do

[Young Buck]

It's sweet of you to want to settle down with someone, Hugo, but I suggest you wait until you're 30+ and have some more life experiences under your belt and maybe some more $ as well, esp if you're going to be a traditional provider. You'll have a better handle on life, know yourself better, your needs and preferences, know the difference between who's hot and who's right, know when to say "No," etc.

I would rather marry at 25.

[Gato_olhos_verdes]

Hugo, if you find someone with whom you truly feel compatable marry and have children at as young an age as financially possible. The best time to establish and raise a family is early in life. You'll have the energy, drive, and flexibility to pull off that great adventure. If after 15 or 20 years things don't work out at least your kids will be grown, trust me, you don't want to be raising children while in your 40's or 50's! These are the years to enjoy the fruits of your labors.

I'm 44 and recently divorced, very amicably I might add. My kids are grown and although their hands are constantly in my pockets it doesn't hurt because I've got the financial foundation to deal with it. Physically I'm in terrific condition, still look pretty good, and date women in their late 20's and early 30's. I'm considered quite a catch!! I'm so thankful that I married and had my children early in life.

[dorlis972]

Wow, Gato_olhos_verdes -- you are quite a lucky man.

For Hugo to have the same luck he has to hope that :

1) He has the same physical traits as you -- not everyone ages well. I definately know some people in the forty's that aren't considered a catch by any means unless you are desperate!
2) Financially he can provide for wife and kids (+) still have a little left after the divorce so when the kids dip in your pockets you have something to give. If he believes in a traditional household, he better have one hell of a job because the wife is going to get alimony.

I can definately tell you that if you are not financially prepared for kids that it will play into your relationship! I can also tell you that kids don't necessarily save a relationship.

Im 28, and seriously comtemplating a divorce myself. I don't regret getting involved in a long term relationship @ 22, but given a chance to go back in time', I'd do things differently..

But I see where you are getting at, its good to follow your heart, you definately never know where it might lead you... but just remember there are ups and downs in life! TO each his or her own experience!

[Gato_olhos_verdes]

Wow, Gato_olhos_verdes -- you are quite a lucky man.

For Hugo to have the same luck he has to hope that :

1) He has the same physical traits as you -- not everyone ages well. I definately know some people in the forty's that aren't considered a catch by any means unless you are desperate!
2) Financially he can provide for wife and kids (+) still have a little left after the divorce so when the kids dip in your pockets you have something to give. If he believes in a traditional household, he better have one hell of a job because the wife is going to get alimony.

I can definately tell you that if you are not financially prepared for kids that it will play into your relationship! I can also tell you that kids don't necessarily save a relationship.

Im 28, and seriously comtemplating a divorce myself. I don't regret getting involved in a long term relationship @ 22, but given a chance to go back in time', I'd do things differently..

But I see where you are getting at, its good to follow your heart, you definately never know where it might lead you... but just remember there are ups and downs in life! TO each his or her own experience!

"You are quite a lucky man."

I'm lucky because:

I chose a mate who is calm, considerate, and understands that nothing is forever and all things must pass.

We have always been open, honest, and respectful of one another.

We were 100% faithful to our marriage from beginning till end. This is critically important. I was tempted once or twice but never cheated, not once, therefore eliminating the root cause of many ugly and disasterous partings.

So, although the marriage is over our friendship continues which is much more pleasant for me, my ex, and our children.

Hugo, if you're lucky enough to find these things in a relationship (it's not really difficult to find them by the way) then by all means proceed. There is nothing to fear.

[ShirasMoose]

Play it straight and things will pan out. When the time comes and you agree to be exclusive inform the others upfront.

Gato is right you want to have kids earlier than later. You want to have money saved and a plan before hand however. It is a struggle but you can make it work.

Exclusivity is just that , after awhile you may find yourself un compatible. There is a time line as well. 12 months is considered by most as go/no go. If you aren't sure in 12 months part amicably.

[marina!]

[..]


I would rather marry at 25.

Why?

[Gato_olhos_verdes]

[..]



Why?

You don't want to be having children while in your 30's/40's and raising them well into your 50's. I think it's best to do that while still young. That's not to say it can't be done, naturally that depends on the individual. My father remarried at 60 and is now raising sons 11 and 13 (he's 72).

Sorry, didn't mean to answer for Hugo, just my 2 cents.

[SPINAROONI]

LARRY KING HAS A 5 YEAR OLD SON AND HE THE GUY IS 70 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD THAT MEANS WHEN HIS KID GRADUATES HIGH SCHOOL AND GOES OFF TO COLLEGE LARRY WILL BE WELL INTO HIS 80S.

[Gato_olhos_verdes]

LARRY KING HAS A 5 YEAR OLD SON AND HE THE GUY IS 70 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD THAT MEANS WHEN HIS KID GRADUATES HIGH SCHOOL AND GOES OFF TO COLLEGE LARRY WILL BE WELL INTO HIS 80S.

Have you seen his 'ol lady? She's a hottie!!